I see myself in them

#lifewithgifted #giftedness #solitude #hobbies #mentalhealth #understanding

There are many aspects of me that I see in my kids.. after all I was one of their gene carriers.. but they are strong willed like their father and that showcases their abilities in a better way..

When I see them struggle with over thinking or when they struggle to move with their peers I see my struggles too.. when they visualise differently and no one understands them I see my own struggles.. when they have multiple interests that just transports them to a different world I see myself.. when they are good at so many things effortlessly but have no interest or intentions to build on all of that I see myself.. I see myself in their fears and tears..

I had struggled a lot as a child to mingle with others as I found very few points of contacts.. I love my own company and solitude… When I look back at what helped me walk through my difficult situations and accept myself, I see one big habit shinning like sun among the other stars.. hobbies

Whenever I wanted to retreat into my cocoon.. whenever I wanted to collect myself.. whenever I wanted to accept myself.. whenever I wanted to cry but couldn’t.. whenever I wanted to end it all.. whenever I felt unheard and unwanted.. whenever I found it difficult to explain myself.. my hobbies helped me explore all the dimensions and think and express better.. they gave me that place to replenish.. that space to feel better.. that place to just be myself.. that place to become invisible.. that place to get involved.. that place to rest and relax.. that place to feel some success and achievement of conquering something.. they helped feel worthy.. I don’t have one but multiple hobbies.. so I get to dwell in more therapeutic places..

As I see myself in my kids I help them build a lot of hobbies.. worlds that they can enjoy their own company in.. though we need to socialize, we need to love solitude too..

Part 3- Big B -the very reason to start the blog

#life #gifted #lifewithgifted #multitasking #genius #innovator #creator #pain #lifelessons #understanding #emotions

Learnings from his life..

When the child has high intelligence and capacity the child’s interests and attention is focused on the subject that they love.. everything else is trivial to the child.. if we can’t understand the intensity of the passion towards learning more we should atleast not give a negative energy..

1.be extremely forgiving as they need that trusted shoulder when they are up against a world that considers them a misfit..

2.be a guide and show them more outlets for the simmering emotions ..

3.throw several ropes from various areas of interests and they will catch hold of what they need and climb up by themselves..

4. Lower down your expectations

5. Developing a spiritual and friendly relationship with God is good for overall mental health.

6. Our education system doesn’t have enough variety to Carter to the variety of students.. the system and teachers need updation .. teachers have to know more about psychology of children and have to handle their needs appropriately

Rights and responsibilities- sex education

With fun rights comes responsibility (pictures are my own)

After reading a news paper article by a female journalist stating that men have failed women over a recent controversy, my 10 year old was very angry.. He said ” can’t she see there are good men.. how can she say that with the example of few bad ones?” I know that he knows more about mating through the animal encyclopaedias that he reads.. I have had several curious questions about it often.. I realised if I don’t give the clear guidance in this stage he may get misguided by someone else.. I thought over how to make him understand in his own terms.. and nature provided a beautiful opportunity.. He was watching a series on some animal channel about a bear’s life.. the muma bear was struggling to raise the cubs all by herself.. she could not go out to find food often and she was still nursing the cubs.. her weight was going down drastically.. when she and her cubs started venturing out of the cave the male bears would often try to mate and she chased off most of them.. but one day a male was too powerful and threatened to kill her cubs.. so to save her cubs she had to succumb.. he did not like it one bit.. he started saying ” amma this is not fair.. the male is not going to help her but wants to mate and let her take the responsibility of taking forward his genes.. ” I just grabbed the opportunity.. I asked him “which mating is better this or the male bird getting the nest ready and taking care of the mother and chicks?” He instantly said the birds way.. then I went on, ” in humans too both kind of mating happen.. when something like the bear’s kind happens then automatically the females feel someone could have helped.. when others don’t help then they feel angry.. no male bear takes responsibility or stops what happens.. it’s like isolation and forced and is disrespectful ..but like in the birds if both parents are ready to take responsibility then that is guilt free and better and there is mutual respect.. the babies grow happily and the parents are also happy.” I could see he got the point.. my mom had not encountered such situations so I have to find my own ways.. and curiosity is excess it better be guided in the right path..

Teach your child to avoid toxic relationships and the fun of solitude too..

Let them know to enjoy both.. ( all pictures are my own)

As my son always had minimal friends he and me used to really try holding on to the few he had.. because I was told socialization is very important.. there was this kid few years older to mine.. my son found him to be interesting and this kid allowed him to play with him too.. so we held on to him.. I would get small gifts and make treats for him too.. slowly as their relationship progressed this child started verbally abusing.. when my child complained I told mine, “may be he was having a bad day just forget it” ,” step into his shoe and see”,” may be he is going through a rough patch” and yes his family was going through tough times.. but one day my child came home all dirty and with shoe sole marks on face.. I first washed him up and asked the extremely upset child but he would not tell me.. after a few hugs in silence he told me his friend had beaten him up but he also said ” amma may be he is going through tough times”.. red lights started showing up in my brain but I did not know how to handle it.. I thought through a lot and felt I was telling my child to live in a toxic situation just because he hardly had friends.. I took time to rehearse what I wanted to say and then spoke to my baby ,” see he may be going through a though time but that doesn’t give him any right to inflict damage on anyone.. he can’t transfer his anger on someone else.. just because he is the only friend you have it doesn’t mean you are not good.. we can have loads of fun exploring things by ourselves too.. the next time he calls you to play I give the choice to go or not to go.. but if you choose to go, the moment he starts behaving bad tell him you have work and come back.. don’t let him persuade you.. let him know you don’t approve of his behaviour.. play close by so that if you need help you can give a shout out to me.. got it?” I know he felt a lot safer and he did go to play after a few days but followed what I said.. and slowly I saw him wean off from that friendship as he realised he wasn’t happy in it.. he is learning with every friend.. he is learning to love solitude too.. #gifted #life #lifewithgifted

I look for the moon

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted

I always look for the moon as it help see the paths ahead.. in the lone clueless nights they show me the different paths ahead of me.. I get to choose what I want with slow well thought of decisions.. it is not like the sun.. it reflects what it has learnt from life.. the Sun throws too much of light everywhere causing mirage and confusion.. when I see the sun I get confused with the abundant options that I make hasty decisions not understanding that there is a mirage and not water on the path.. but the moon lets me take one step at a time.. it lets me process and mature before the next.. and I can’t blame the moon as decision was entirely mine…

Yes I am looking for more moons to show me more options in life.. if you think you have been in the road that I travel and want to be a moon, you are most welcome.. if you are looking for a moon we can look for it together..

I can be reached at lifewithgifted@gmail.com