I see myself in them

#lifewithgifted #giftedness #solitude #hobbies #mentalhealth #understanding

There are many aspects of me that I see in my kids.. after all I was one of their gene carriers.. but they are strong willed like their father and that showcases their abilities in a better way..

When I see them struggle with over thinking or when they struggle to move with their peers I see my struggles too.. when they visualise differently and no one understands them I see my own struggles.. when they have multiple interests that just transports them to a different world I see myself.. when they are good at so many things effortlessly but have no interest or intentions to build on all of that I see myself.. I see myself in their fears and tears..

I had struggled a lot as a child to mingle with others as I found very few points of contacts.. I love my own company and solitude… When I look back at what helped me walk through my difficult situations and accept myself, I see one big habit shinning like sun among the other stars.. hobbies

Whenever I wanted to retreat into my cocoon.. whenever I wanted to collect myself.. whenever I wanted to accept myself.. whenever I wanted to cry but couldn’t.. whenever I wanted to end it all.. whenever I felt unheard and unwanted.. whenever I found it difficult to explain myself.. my hobbies helped me explore all the dimensions and think and express better.. they gave me that place to replenish.. that space to feel better.. that place to just be myself.. that place to become invisible.. that place to get involved.. that place to rest and relax.. that place to feel some success and achievement of conquering something.. they helped feel worthy.. I don’t have one but multiple hobbies.. so I get to dwell in more therapeutic places..

As I see myself in my kids I help them build a lot of hobbies.. worlds that they can enjoy their own company in.. though we need to socialize, we need to love solitude too..

Part 3- Big B -the very reason to start the blog

#life #gifted #lifewithgifted #multitasking #genius #innovator #creator #pain #lifelessons #understanding #emotions

Learnings from his life..

When the child has high intelligence and capacity the child’s interests and attention is focused on the subject that they love.. everything else is trivial to the child.. if we can’t understand the intensity of the passion towards learning more we should atleast not give a negative energy..

1.be extremely forgiving as they need that trusted shoulder when they are up against a world that considers them a misfit..

2.be a guide and show them more outlets for the simmering emotions ..

3.throw several ropes from various areas of interests and they will catch hold of what they need and climb up by themselves..

4. Lower down your expectations

5. Developing a spiritual and friendly relationship with God is good for overall mental health.

6. Our education system doesn’t have enough variety to Carter to the variety of students.. the system and teachers need updation .. teachers have to know more about psychology of children and have to handle their needs appropriately

Part 2- Big B -the very reason to start the blog

(photos and artwork on my blog are my own)

#life #gifted #lifewithgifted #multitasking #genius #innovator #creator #pain #lifelessons #understanding #emotions

A post by him on social media years back just popped up on my page.. drew me into good and bad memories..

Big B was the big brother from another womb.. my neighbour in childhood.. he always amazed me with his abilities.. I would see him jaw dropped through the day.. he could fix phones to cars even as a kid in 1990s when computers were just making an entry into India.. he built an audio editing system from scratch at home as a teenager.. but his teachers did not find him interesting.. he was called a looser, mad kid and treated badly by teachers at school.. he had let all the emotions simmer inside without telling his parents’ too.. he was kicked out of a prestigious school and it impacted his mental health.. the pressure was building without anyone’s knowledge..he was home schooled but he was still a difficult kid to handle for many.. I never understood why but now I know why.. with many struggles and limited friends he completed his 12 the grade.. but he was already an inventor by then.. he was an extremely caring neighbour and brother to me and my brother who were mostly alone when my parents went out to work.. he introduced me to books.. he would help me with my projects that involved computers.. he would always keep a watch on us.. he was leading the graphics team of a famous media company and did graphics for TV and films.. his abilities were recognised and he went on to study in the USA.. great names came calling but his health had taken a beating.. He came back home when he knew that he was suffering from an auto immunity disorder with no cure and had just 5 more years to live though he was just in his 20s.. even with health issues he went on to innovate with his trade mark smile and wit.. he bet his odds both mentally and physically to live for 7 more years.. I was not aware of the magnitude of his illness and we were continuing our friendship on social media.. when I had my second child he wanted to meet me.. but good things come to an end and his life ended prematurely.. I feel guilty to this day for not meeting him before he died..

His life had a lesson for everyone involved in it.. the world understands those with average and below average IQ better than those with high IQs.. do we give the intellectually superior the needed understanding? How many times we have branded them as egoistic and proud? Are we as a society accomodating them ? Or are we expecting them to accomodate themselves to us from the beginning? Are we understanding them emotionally?

I think I can pay back to him only if I bring up my kids, understanding the critical aspects than the popular aspects.. whenever my older one shows me little inventions of his, I am reminded of only one face.. when ever I see him struggle emotionally because the society doesn’t understand I get the very same memories.. I will share the lessons from his life with everyone.. because people like these can make the world a better place if only we accept and understand them..

I look for the moon

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted

I always look for the moon as it help see the paths ahead.. in the lone clueless nights they show me the different paths ahead of me.. I get to choose what I want with slow well thought of decisions.. it is not like the sun.. it reflects what it has learnt from life.. the Sun throws too much of light everywhere causing mirage and confusion.. when I see the sun I get confused with the abundant options that I make hasty decisions not understanding that there is a mirage and not water on the path.. but the moon lets me take one step at a time.. it lets me process and mature before the next.. and I can’t blame the moon as decision was entirely mine…

Yes I am looking for more moons to show me more options in life.. if you think you have been in the road that I travel and want to be a moon, you are most welcome.. if you are looking for a moon we can look for it together..

I can be reached at lifewithgifted@gmail.com

Journey to failure to understand getting up matters..

giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

One day I got a call from his school teacher just after the school time.. anxiously I picked up the call.. the teacher told me to ask him what happened at school today after he comes home..

I asked him after he refreshed about day at school and he was not comfortable.. after a hug he told me, “amma today in language test I went blank and did not know what to write for a question.. I told the teacher that I will refer to the book just to remember the key word and she said no.. ” I asked him if what he did was right and it’s ok to write an answer wrong or not write an answer but he told me, “how can I ? I know that I know the answer.. I can’t fail.. it will be humiliating to fail.. but the teacher told me to write the test another day with today’s absentees” I told him to prepare well this time and thank the teacher for giving another chance..

As I thought through the happenings I realised he had hardly faced failure even in little things in life.. he just had to try once sometimes with help and sometimes without help to do anything.. he could get most things 75% well without effort.. while most children had to practice to get that.. those kids did face failure at least little by little and learnt to try more.. he never had to try more.. a little effort and his learning was done.. then it struck me that kids learn by watching adults.. did he see us fail? NO! Here I was wearing the super mom tag trying to show how brilliantly I handle so many things.. I never showcased my failure.. It did not help anyone.. my frustrations were also pilling up.. I decided to shed that image.. I started showing him how plan A, B,C.. never worked .. it was plan N or sometimes plan Z that worked and I had to adapt to it.. sometimes none worked.. it helped me to responsibly channelize my frustrations and learnings as I know he is watching and learning.. I let him see that I fall many times but I get up and get going.. I can see the difference.. he tries after initial frustrations now.. and the teacher had been understanding that though he knew , the thought of doing something wrong disturbed him.. he needed that understanding..

For many Gifted I learnt frustration is the major issue.. trying again and again becomes difficult.. because they don’t know what failure is in childhood..

Let me know your thoughts..