Rights and responsibilities- sex education

With fun rights comes responsibility (pictures are my own)

After reading a news paper article by a female journalist stating that men have failed women over a recent controversy, my 10 year old was very angry.. He said ” can’t she see there are good men.. how can she say that with the example of few bad ones?” I know that he knows more about mating through the animal encyclopaedias that he reads.. I have had several curious questions about it often.. I realised if I don’t give the clear guidance in this stage he may get misguided by someone else.. I thought over how to make him understand in his own terms.. and nature provided a beautiful opportunity.. He was watching a series on some animal channel about a bear’s life.. the muma bear was struggling to raise the cubs all by herself.. she could not go out to find food often and she was still nursing the cubs.. her weight was going down drastically.. when she and her cubs started venturing out of the cave the male bears would often try to mate and she chased off most of them.. but one day a male was too powerful and threatened to kill her cubs.. so to save her cubs she had to succumb.. he did not like it one bit.. he started saying ” amma this is not fair.. the male is not going to help her but wants to mate and let her take the responsibility of taking forward his genes.. ” I just grabbed the opportunity.. I asked him “which mating is better this or the male bird getting the nest ready and taking care of the mother and chicks?” He instantly said the birds way.. then I went on, ” in humans too both kind of mating happen.. when something like the bear’s kind happens then automatically the females feel someone could have helped.. when others don’t help then they feel angry.. no male bear takes responsibility or stops what happens.. it’s like isolation and forced and is disrespectful ..but like in the birds if both parents are ready to take responsibility then that is guilt free and better and there is mutual respect.. the babies grow happily and the parents are also happy.” I could see he got the point.. my mom had not encountered such situations so I have to find my own ways.. and curiosity is excess it better be guided in the right path..

Teach your child to avoid toxic relationships and the fun of solitude too..

Let them know to enjoy both.. ( all pictures are my own)

As my son always had minimal friends he and me used to really try holding on to the few he had.. because I was told socialization is very important.. there was this kid few years older to mine.. my son found him to be interesting and this kid allowed him to play with him too.. so we held on to him.. I would get small gifts and make treats for him too.. slowly as their relationship progressed this child started verbally abusing.. when my child complained I told mine, “may be he was having a bad day just forget it” ,” step into his shoe and see”,” may be he is going through a rough patch” and yes his family was going through tough times.. but one day my child came home all dirty and with shoe sole marks on face.. I first washed him up and asked the extremely upset child but he would not tell me.. after a few hugs in silence he told me his friend had beaten him up but he also said ” amma may be he is going through tough times”.. red lights started showing up in my brain but I did not know how to handle it.. I thought through a lot and felt I was telling my child to live in a toxic situation just because he hardly had friends.. I took time to rehearse what I wanted to say and then spoke to my baby ,” see he may be going through a though time but that doesn’t give him any right to inflict damage on anyone.. he can’t transfer his anger on someone else.. just because he is the only friend you have it doesn’t mean you are not good.. we can have loads of fun exploring things by ourselves too.. the next time he calls you to play I give the choice to go or not to go.. but if you choose to go, the moment he starts behaving bad tell him you have work and come back.. don’t let him persuade you.. let him know you don’t approve of his behaviour.. play close by so that if you need help you can give a shout out to me.. got it?” I know he felt a lot safer and he did go to play after a few days but followed what I said.. and slowly I saw him wean off from that friendship as he realised he wasn’t happy in it.. he is learning with every friend.. he is learning to love solitude too.. #gifted #life #lifewithgifted

How did I realise my first one my was way ahead of his age?

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

(Pictures are my own contact me for any issues with the pictures)

For every mother her kids as special and precious.. there is a saying in Tamil “kaakai ku than kunju pon kunju” – for a crow her kids are golden chicks.. Many a times I had brushed aside my observations of my first chick saying this but the traits stared glaringly.. by 4 months of age he used to respond to anything that I said no to by giggling and doing it.. he really had fun doing them.. he responded to his father’s absence during his travels by licking his photos even at 5 months.. by 7 months he could repeat few words randomly when people uttered them during conversations.. by 9 months he could say several words identifying objects or his needs like water etc. But he sat at 9 months only and walked at 13 months.. but he could say words like ‘ Chimpanzi’ ‘orangutan’ clearly by 13 months.. not just clear enough for his mom to understand but even for an absolute stranger to understand.. I have got odd stares at grocery stores when a tiny baby was talking clearly using bigger words.. by 18 months he could talk grammatically proper sentences with adults.. if he couldn’t say a word clearly then he would go and sit in a corner and practice it till he got it right.. he would proceed to play only after that.. I would put a lot of books in front of him to choose and he always kept aside the alphabet books.. animal books were his first choice.. so he didn’t learn alphabets till 3.5 years though many kids learn it much earlier.. but he would ask me to read out encyclopaedias when at book stores.. he understood them and would ask doubts too.. his pre school teachers found him very different too.. the very first day the English teacher came searching for me to ask how his English is so good.. I was advised to reduce book time and make him play a lot with his age group.. which was very difficult as no kid understood what he spoke.. he prefered the bigger kids but they considered him too tiny to be part of their groups.. I knew my kid was different in many aspects but I had to prove it to others to clear up many things.. I wasn’t forcing him to learn.. he chose what he wanted to learn.. his curiosity literally killed him.. he has had surgeries and hospitalizations because of it despite me being vigilant.. so when the school counselor advised an IQ test I went ahead.. many understood what I way trying to say only after that.. but many did not understand what it is to deal with a gifted child..

I look for the moon

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted

I always look for the moon as it help see the paths ahead.. in the lone clueless nights they show me the different paths ahead of me.. I get to choose what I want with slow well thought of decisions.. it is not like the sun.. it reflects what it has learnt from life.. the Sun throws too much of light everywhere causing mirage and confusion.. when I see the sun I get confused with the abundant options that I make hasty decisions not understanding that there is a mirage and not water on the path.. but the moon lets me take one step at a time.. it lets me process and mature before the next.. and I can’t blame the moon as decision was entirely mine…

Yes I am looking for more moons to show me more options in life.. if you think you have been in the road that I travel and want to be a moon, you are most welcome.. if you are looking for a moon we can look for it together..

I can be reached at lifewithgifted@gmail.com

Indecisiveness and decisions..

I am just building my fortress not knowing how it will turn out

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

There are many a times I have to struggle with decisions.. and later look back at them and think ‘why did I make this decision?’ with very little knowledge about future and what will work for my kids I just have to rely on my instinct.. I weigh the pros and cons and think about will I be able to handle the consequences of my decisions for my kids as they are too young to decide? No I don’t find support to my decisions easily as they don’t understand what is it to have gifted kids.. I write down the events that led to the decisions so that I can refer back when I doubt my decisions.. I constantly remind myself that I have to keep my options and mind open to make changes or scrap a decision when things don’t work out.. I try to see if my kids are happy at the end of the day.. if my decision has helped them in the long run.. I try to weigh the other factors less.. my decisions may not be popular and easier but I hold responsibility for it.. I tell myself often that what worked for one may not work for the other… Writing down helps me refocus.. and when my kids grow up they will get to read what situations led to some decisions..