Tag: gifted adult

My reflections of October

As the busy month of milestones came to an end, my reflections on what and how they have shaped me started..
Parents wedding anniversary, my wedding anniversary, the beginning of my parenthood days for 2 unique children- both times, extended family wedding anniversaries and birthdays along with Navratri/Deepawali/both, the day I first sold my work as teen, the day I first started a social media page for my work….this month has shapped me in several ways.. I make it even more challenging by making unique clothes and gifts for the family and now daughter joins with her unique bakes..

I always take the time to reflect on how I changed as a person with each experience.. I would not say I changed someone or something or I am raising my kids’ wonderfully.. no, no one can change or raise anyone unless one decides to do it for the self.. one thing that stands out this time is how I have learnt to harness my own capabilities, energies, resources and time..
From not knowing what to do with myself, not understanding what it means by saying , “one can’t pour from an empty cup” to accepting and utilising the gifts of life.. Giving myself the space to grow without boundaries.. sorting out the wars inside my head first.. to not try raising my children but to just provide a fertile soil (the happy us and not materialistic support) and safe space and letting them raise themselves at their own pace.. building a wonderful mutual relationship-friendship with my man that gives all the 4 of us the confidence to exist independently in our ways in different fields, yet be close knitted and supportive.. As a parent, I understand my parents better.. I try to be there yet not put the pressure of my existence on the ones I care for. Built my small dependable circle..

Why do I talk of family whenever I talk of myself, in a world that talks of only “me”? Because they have shaped me with rich experiences.. and that has led to me being able to harness myself better and gifted myself generously! No, I haven’t changed the life for anyone.. that’s their job..

Understanding – the misunderstood word

I had been doing an exercise of forgiveness – of self and others, for around 6 yrs now. I really thought I was at peace with myself until I heard Dr. Sameena, mention about gifted in arts, like a kid doing bharatnatyam for a bangra song, as signs of higher creative thinking. I was there to talk about my experiences as a mom of gifted children but the emotional replay clouded me so much that I forgot what I was going to say.. I sat there trying to be in the present with a brain living in the past.

It brought back the almost forgotten, pleasant memories of how much I loved to dance. Brought up in a very traditional Indian home, I did not know western music. But as an 8th grader I made my tech savvy neighbour to edit and join 2 Beethoven pieces to create a song. I had no clue what those instrumental pieces were. I heard it somewhere and I loved it, so I got help to put them together. I choreographed a bharatnatyam piece for it, about the Gopikas complaining about how they love Krishna but can’t bear the brunt of his naughtiness. The contrasting love-hate feeling inside them.. I was laughed at by some, I was boring to some, some scolded me for tarnishing the tradition.. But I loved the process of creation. I danced for myself behind closed doors.

Then the memory of the hard small stick (used to keep the rhythm in bharatnatyam classes) flying towards my feet and hitting hard kept creeping in repeatedly. The ambidextrous me holding certain mudras, meant to be held only on the right, on left and right getting scolded and hit for being careless. I did not know the existence of the word ambidextrous till much later in adulthood. I kept scorning at myself for being careless and lacking commitment towards the art.

Finally one day I gave up, considering myself unfit to dance. It’s been decades since my last dance. Not even a finger or leg movement to any rhythm. I kept to arts that did not require any stage presence, after all I was Jack of all trades and Queen of none, as many said.

I really couldn’t get out of these memories for weeks.. I realised I had been giving excuses to my daughter whenever she asked to teach her some basics of dance. Dr. Sameena’s words kept replaying in my mind.. a part of me that I did not know existed, felt seen and accepted. I gave myself the space to process the emotions, accept this part of me and then penned it down. It is not my fault that I am ambidextrous and my brain can’t understand and follow certain rules. That’s fine! Of course I have been doing a small dance just for myself in front of the mirror for the past few days, (though it looks like a scare crow’s dance on a windy day 😂! It takes time to regain coordination ! It’s ok!) and trying to recollect names of mudras to teach my daughter.

I went to enlighten people with my life experiences but came back more enlightened!! Thank you life!!🙏