Tag: #hope

Indecisiveness and decisions..

  • I am just building my fortress not knowing how it will turn out

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

There are many a times I have to struggle with decisions.. and later look back at them and think ‘why did I make this decision?’ with very little knowledge about future and what will work for my kids I just have to rely on my instinct.. I weigh the pros and cons and think about will I be able to handle the consequences of my decisions for my kids as they are too young to decide? No I don’t find support to my decisions easily as they don’t understand what is it to have gifted kids.. I write down the events that led to the decisions so that I can refer back when I doubt my decisions.. I constantly remind myself that I have to keep my options and mind open to make changes or scrap a decision when things don’t work out.. I try to see if my kids are happy at the end of the day.. if my decision has helped them in the long run.. I try to weigh the other factors less.. my decisions may not be popular and easier but I hold responsibility for it.. I tell myself often that what worked for one may not work for the other… Writing down helps me refocus.. and when my kids grow up they will get to read what situations led to some decisions..

Journey to failure to understand getting up matters..

  • Experience the failure to see success..

giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

One day I got a call from his school teacher just after the school time.. anxiously I picked up the call.. the teacher told me to ask him what happened at school today after he comes home..

I asked him after he refreshed about day at school and he was not comfortable.. after a hug he told me, “amma today in language test I went blank and did not know what to write for a question.. I told the teacher that I will refer to the book just to remember the key word and she said no.. ” I asked him if what he did was right and it’s ok to write an answer wrong or not write an answer but he told me, “how can I ? I know that I know the answer.. I can’t fail.. it will be humiliating to fail.. but the teacher told me to write the test another day with today’s absentees” I told him to prepare well this time and thank the teacher for giving another chance..

As I thought through the happenings I realised he had hardly faced failure even in little things in life.. he just had to try once sometimes with help and sometimes without help to do anything.. he could get most things 75% well without effort.. while most children had to practice to get that.. those kids did face failure at least little by little and learnt to try more.. he never had to try more.. a little effort and his learning was done.. then it struck me that kids learn by watching adults.. did he see us fail? NO! Here I was wearing the super mom tag trying to show how brilliantly I handle so many things.. I never showcased my failure.. It did not help anyone.. my frustrations were also pilling up.. I decided to shed that image.. I started showing him how plan A, B,C.. never worked .. it was plan N or sometimes plan Z that worked and I had to adapt to it.. sometimes none worked.. it helped me to responsibly channelize my frustrations and learnings as I know he is watching and learning.. I let him see that I fall many times but I get up and get going.. I can see the difference.. he tries after initial frustrations now.. and the teacher had been understanding that though he knew , the thought of doing something wrong disturbed him.. he needed that understanding..

For many Gifted I learnt frustration is the major issue.. trying again and again becomes difficult.. because they don’t know what failure is in childhood..

Let me know your thoughts..