Giftedness comes in different packages

#lifewithgifted #giftedkids #overthinking #sensitiveness #fears #polesapart #communication #abilities

I made two leaves with the same colour pencils but they turned out to be very different from each other.. they had some things in common but looked so different.. pretty similar to my kids..

While everyone was able to see my older one was very distinct and different from others, it’s difficult to do see for my younger one.. she doesn’t express her capabilities outside easily.. while my older one easily talks to any stranger, he is an introvert when you get to know him on the long run.. my younger one though she hardly opens up to people till she is comfortable, she loves socializing .. my older one would cry for even a bug’s death, my younger one will happily disconnect anyone she feels is not up to her standards..

I thought I could identify a gifted child easily by my experiences with my older one and easily connect to the parents of those kids but my younger one gave me several surprises.. she shows me how different they can be.. she started speaking well before the age of one just like her brother and by two she was able to explain well to someone who asked her the difference between a river and beach.. her understanding was beautiful in many aspects.. her fine motor skills were amazing.. she was able to visualise and create structures and drawings that her age kids couldn’t understand..she is a great cook from the age of two but her school teachers have never experienced these.. they know her as a gentle, hesitant child who is easy to handle.. they call her the goat among the lions.. while at home she is the opposite.. she knows what she wants and is fully aware of what she does.. I asked her “why don’t you be like this at school?” She told me “there is a place for everything!” She makes her own decisions and stands by them even as a toddler.. she pulls up art videos and learns and brings out her own version of them.. she says ” I don’t have to copy when I know to create!” My older one is considered short tempered and arrogant but he is far more gentle..he just doesn’t know how to hold on and think and say..

My older one would confide everything in me but this lady is very secretive.. it takes a lot of effort to know what’s going on in her mind and even if she tells me I can’t be sure if I have got it all.. she is strong willed ..

While my older one is of the fermented food type my younger one is a fastfood type.. i.e older one loves to do everything at slow pace as if the world would wait for him.. the younger one doesn’t rest till she finishes what’s given as if the world is going to end..

Their fears are very different, they are overthinkers of different kind, they have some unique sensitivity of different kinds, their abilities to learn are very high but in different fields, their abilities to visualise are different, their ways of communication are different, their abilities to carry themselves are different, their abilities to socialize are different.. on the whole I have learnt that giftedness comes in different packages..

How did I realise my first one my was way ahead of his age?

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

(Pictures are my own contact me for any issues with the pictures)

For every mother her kids as special and precious.. there is a saying in Tamil “kaakai ku than kunju pon kunju” – for a crow her kids are golden chicks.. Many a times I had brushed aside my observations of my first chick saying this but the traits stared glaringly.. by 4 months of age he used to respond to anything that I said no to by giggling and doing it.. he really had fun doing them.. he responded to his father’s absence during his travels by licking his photos even at 5 months.. by 7 months he could repeat few words randomly when people uttered them during conversations.. by 9 months he could say several words identifying objects or his needs like water etc. But he sat at 9 months only and walked at 13 months.. but he could say words like ‘ Chimpanzi’ ‘orangutan’ clearly by 13 months.. not just clear enough for his mom to understand but even for an absolute stranger to understand.. I have got odd stares at grocery stores when a tiny baby was talking clearly using bigger words.. by 18 months he could talk grammatically proper sentences with adults.. if he couldn’t say a word clearly then he would go and sit in a corner and practice it till he got it right.. he would proceed to play only after that.. I would put a lot of books in front of him to choose and he always kept aside the alphabet books.. animal books were his first choice.. so he didn’t learn alphabets till 3.5 years though many kids learn it much earlier.. but he would ask me to read out encyclopaedias when at book stores.. he understood them and would ask doubts too.. his pre school teachers found him very different too.. the very first day the English teacher came searching for me to ask how his English is so good.. I was advised to reduce book time and make him play a lot with his age group.. which was very difficult as no kid understood what he spoke.. he prefered the bigger kids but they considered him too tiny to be part of their groups.. I knew my kid was different in many aspects but I had to prove it to others to clear up many things.. I wasn’t forcing him to learn.. he chose what he wanted to learn.. his curiosity literally killed him.. he has had surgeries and hospitalizations because of it despite me being vigilant.. so when the school counselor advised an IQ test I went ahead.. many understood what I way trying to say only after that.. but many did not understand what it is to deal with a gifted child..

I look for the moon

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted

I always look for the moon as it help see the paths ahead.. in the lone clueless nights they show me the different paths ahead of me.. I get to choose what I want with slow well thought of decisions.. it is not like the sun.. it reflects what it has learnt from life.. the Sun throws too much of light everywhere causing mirage and confusion.. when I see the sun I get confused with the abundant options that I make hasty decisions not understanding that there is a mirage and not water on the path.. but the moon lets me take one step at a time.. it lets me process and mature before the next.. and I can’t blame the moon as decision was entirely mine…

Yes I am looking for more moons to show me more options in life.. if you think you have been in the road that I travel and want to be a moon, you are most welcome.. if you are looking for a moon we can look for it together..

I can be reached at lifewithgifted@gmail.com

Indecisiveness and decisions..

I am just building my fortress not knowing how it will turn out

#giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

There are many a times I have to struggle with decisions.. and later look back at them and think ‘why did I make this decision?’ with very little knowledge about future and what will work for my kids I just have to rely on my instinct.. I weigh the pros and cons and think about will I be able to handle the consequences of my decisions for my kids as they are too young to decide? No I don’t find support to my decisions easily as they don’t understand what is it to have gifted kids.. I write down the events that led to the decisions so that I can refer back when I doubt my decisions.. I constantly remind myself that I have to keep my options and mind open to make changes or scrap a decision when things don’t work out.. I try to see if my kids are happy at the end of the day.. if my decision has helped them in the long run.. I try to weigh the other factors less.. my decisions may not be popular and easier but I hold responsibility for it.. I tell myself often that what worked for one may not work for the other… Writing down helps me refocus.. and when my kids grow up they will get to read what situations led to some decisions..

Because no one talks for them

Sometimes I wonder about the very tiny population in the world almost less than 5% .. they don’t open their mouth much.. dont share their experiences much.. because the world thinks they have all that is needed so what’s there to even complain or feel drained out about? and what do they have ? kids with high IQ i.e Gifted kids.. IQ that seems to be something that many want their kids to improve some how and reach that spot on top.. but have you ever heard from Einstein’s mother or his wife Maliva Einstein Maric’s mother or Annapurna Devi’s mom or Chanakya’s mother or any renowned genius’s mother, how it was to bring up these people? how mentally exhausting it was? I have deliberately chosen these names as even though they had the common factor of great IQ they had different EQ and SQ.. they were different characters altogether…. how did other adults around them react when these people were kids? how did other kids react when these people were kids? the world looses a majority of benefits we can reep from the ones with higher capabilities because they are snubbed and damaged when they are still kids.. though we celebrate the achievements of these people once they achieve we forget those who could be like them when they are around us as kids.. no, high IQ doesn’t mean high scores in exams! no, high IQ doesn’t mean charming personality! No , high IQ doesn’t mean they will be able to manage any garbage thrown at them wonderfully.. it means that they are mentally growing way too faster than their chronological age.. their capabilities are far higher than what is expected for that age.. their ideas are new, out of the box and sometimes unacceptable.. perfection is a relative term… they strive for perfection that they understand and the world can’t..
the earthworm, cow,mountain goat , crow and eagle get to see the world in totally different perspectives due to the altitude.. that doesn’t mean any of them are lesser or better than the other but they will not be able to understand the perspective of the other.. each one has an ability.. and if that ability is utilised perfectly life can be made beautifully harmonious..
only their mothers know the difficulty in that life.. but the difference with IQ is the mother may not have the same IQ.. she may not have the needed awarness.. she may not understand the other perspective.. we are gaining better awarness about the average and lower IQs but there is very less known about the higher..it makes life for that child very difficult.. the life of that mother difficult.. even if the mother is able to understand and helps the child she is at odds with the world around.. she keeps mum because she doesn’t know if her child will achieve anything big for others to atleast keep their opinions to themselves.. she keeps mum because she will be called a show off and her problems will be labelled as attention seeking.. how many child prodigies had mental issues in later stage.. how many child prodigies parents hid their child’s abilities due to fear.. very few were lucky.. these kids remain a misfit and struggle..
How many parents fight with schools when some children are given more to study, we have them among us right? even if the teachers understand that , the child needs more we get infuriated.. if the class proceeds a little slow for one child who is not able to catch up or if a child needs support class to catch up , we are kind of okay with the idea.. but not the other way around.. why? because our ego hurts?
a classic example from times just gone by.. Mr. CR .. theater, politics, law , movies, journalism… O my God! to learn about him you need a lifetime.. effortlessly brilliant.. there is a new hidden meaning to discover in his works every single time.. multi talented.. but many of us hate him because we don’t understand what he was saying.. he never got what was due..do you think the adults wouldn’t have been offended by his knowledge when he was a child? how difficult it would have been for his mom to catch up with life? she would have silently borne a lot.. he had strange habits and was extremely stubborn.. his anger was not understood.. how did his mother manage? she may not have spoken her heart out to anyone as no one would have understood.. we do know Edison’s mom had to face a lot from the society but we just paint the picture that a mother always has to and wind it up.. the emotional needs of these kids and their parents need to be understood too.. isn’t bringing up a child who is aging mentally faster an altogether different challenge?
just think over it..