Solo traveler

I asked my 10year son to describe him to me and he said after some thinking that he is a ” solo traveler ” .. I asked him to explain and he said ” I like to let my thoughts guide me at my own pace to what I want to do next than travel with others around me.. I like to enjoy my process and experience the thrill of doing them just by myself” .. I asked him if he is happy and he said alone he is super happy and with others around he is happy only sometimes.. I asked him why? And he said he feels a bit insecure when lot of people are around and a pressure to perform better in presence of others is not a great feeling.. you have to talk consciously, behave consciously and act consciously.. very difficult.. strong words for a 10 year old

Then I asked my 5 year old the same question.. she said she is super happy being her own friend.. but she also likes being around with lesser people and not lots of people.. why? ” Because I like observing how others do things and sometimes participate but when there are lots of people there are too many ideas and too many people looking at you.. it’s not a good feeling.. with lesser people we can talk better.. ” that’s very similar to my older one but she does like little company once in a while..

I asked them if they don’t miss communication if they are by themselves? Older one said ” I get time to think over and act slowly.. I can write, draw or chat with someone online when I want rather than having to talk in that moment itself.. I am still communicating.. ” Younger one said, “I talk to myself and I have all that I feel in my paintings and I can sew too.. I will show them when I want to , to someone and tell them what I want to tell them.. others need not know.. if I want I will talk to people else I won’t..”

How beautifully they explained an introvert’s life.. how they enjoy their various modes of communication.. they are sensitive.. what other’s think inhibits their thought processes.. they need time to respond and in their own way.. in fact my older one has been reading tremendously and chatting with some adults in online gardening and science communities without any difficulty.. the daughter has exhibited her feelings a lot though art in the lockdown period . I find them to be less angrier and less agitated in the past few months.. they are able to easily cope up being away from the world.. and have learnt a lot at greater pace at peace..

Introverts need support and understanding of their modes of communication rather than a push to be with the world.. there is no one means of communication that suits everyone.. we just have to be open and sensitive to the talk.. not everyone can express everything by speaking out in public.. Introverts are happy people too but in a different way.. just don’t push them.. solo but not lonely.. that should be the aim..

The family konjal!

Whatever happens.. however it happens.. it doesn’t matter.. at the end of the day before saying the night Slokas we do family konjal! I.e we do family cuddling.. (konjal is Tamil)

We decide to forgive and forget everything every night before bed.. all we try to remember is that we love each other beyond everything and will be beside each other inspite of everything..

It helps my gifted kids a lot to remove the burden of self blaming or inferiority complex or insecurity.. they know what ever they do we will still love them.. and we believe whatever we do they will learn to love us.. all of us are learning.. we are learning to parent and they are learning to live.. together we are learning life..

There are days when tears trickle down when we hug.. the day has been intense.. to know that you are still loved is calming.. to know you are still accepted is soothing.. to know you can be yourself is assuring..

It’s tough to let go and hug with whole heart but when we do we can see how much we need it more than them..

It also helps my kids see that in a family it is ok to hug or kiss and there is nothing wrong in showing your partner or parents your love without inhibitions … It’s great to express love.. it’s great to let go.. it’s great to remember to start afresh before you go to bed..

It gives more hope for tomorrow..

Learning from the unknown faces!

#lifewithgifted #learning #pandemic #lifeinlockdown #giftedkids #education #vituallearning #virtualclasses #tasksforgifted

The pandemic lockdown has been a blessing of sorts.. this is the first year that we have stayed back home for the summer.. usually we stay at grandparents place or go on vacation to explore places according to kids line of interests and our garden doesn’t get enough care but this year we are around.. and we learnt a lot from unknown faces across the globe with out travelling..

I gave my 10 year old 4 tasks based on his interests- learn something related to zoology, something related to gardening, something to improve his spiritual health and some hand work.. I gave him a budget and told him to look for online classes for the first 3.. he came up with few choices and we opted for what suits us the best among them.. he felt more in control of his life which he had been fighting for but he was still under our guidance.. he went on do a course with a zoo, then a gardening course, a Bhagawat Gita class and started on his new quilt( with me).. as he had a little more left in his budget he took up a coding class too..

This venture has been pretty successful as he finished 4 of the 5 tasks that he took up and our garden is lush green.. we have had a decent harvest and it radiates a lot of positive vibrations.. he feels a lot happier and is able to manage his time better.. he has gone ahead to become a member in a virtual gardening group, getting help and rendering help too. They don’t know that they are talking to a kid but look up to him for advice. He is loving the process as to answer them he is learning more.. I have met several road blocks in many classes as they found his age to be a barrier.. though he is mentally far ahead he was not included due to age.. but that barrier has been broken in the virtual community.. he finds the virtual community for learning to be comfortable as he can walk in and out when he pleases.. he has his moods.. yes there have been days of tantrums where he would ask for exotic seeds but then the spiritual discourses have helped him calm down and think if he really needs them.. to fulfill the course with the zoo he went ahead to make comic strips, posters and stories for the assignments as they did not restrict him with regular testing at the end of the course.. as for the hand sewing.. he is still learning slowly to work patiently.. and coding class was completed too..

Overall we have had beautiful time learning to learn in a new way.. and house is more calm, smelling good with the harvests..