Mindfulness and activities for gifted kids

Small bags and pouches by my 10 year old

I had a tough day.. what ever I did I couldn’t control the outbursts of emotions.. I tried to maintain calm and explain, hugged, tried to play , watch something together on tv, read together but every few minutes they were charged and charging over each other for trivial things.. the noise level was too high.. crying happened for most part of the day.. I did not know what to do..

I just took up my sewing kit and theirs.. placed everything on the sewing table and started off on my mindful rhythmic sewing patterns.. few minutes later both were sitting beside me sewing their stuff.. all of a sudden the whole house was calm and peaceful..

I collect scrap fabrics from my projects into a bin.. I use them to teach them quilting.. I let them plan their lay out and choose fabrics.. then hand sew.. no deadlines.. no pressure.. just some rhythmic motion based on their ideas..

It improves hand-eye coordination, calms the brain, converts their energies into something positive.. improves appreciation for hand work.. boosts self confidence and self belief.. I insist on converting the small patches they make into products of their use.. it improves self worth to look at what you make with your hands being of good use.. choosing a design and colour coordination helps in decision making.. it is a way to express feelings.. it’s a mode to communicate..

They enjoy the process.. perfection is not the aim but perseverance is.. it’s a life skill too.. with no gender barriers.. helps navigate through emotions.. better than a regular boring handwriting book to train the hands..

My 5 year old working on embroidery for her quilt

The family konjal!

Whatever happens.. however it happens.. it doesn’t matter.. at the end of the day before saying the night Slokas we do family konjal! I.e we do family cuddling.. (konjal is Tamil)

We decide to forgive and forget everything every night before bed.. all we try to remember is that we love each other beyond everything and will be beside each other inspite of everything..

It helps my gifted kids a lot to remove the burden of self blaming or inferiority complex or insecurity.. they know what ever they do we will still love them.. and we believe whatever we do they will learn to love us.. all of us are learning.. we are learning to parent and they are learning to live.. together we are learning life..

There are days when tears trickle down when we hug.. the day has been intense.. to know that you are still loved is calming.. to know you are still accepted is soothing.. to know you can be yourself is assuring..

It’s tough to let go and hug with whole heart but when we do we can see how much we need it more than them..

It also helps my kids see that in a family it is ok to hug or kiss and there is nothing wrong in showing your partner or parents your love without inhibitions … It’s great to express love.. it’s great to let go.. it’s great to remember to start afresh before you go to bed..

It gives more hope for tomorrow..

Pandemic and uncertainty

While others are trying their best to keep kids at home due to the pandemic, I have made no efforts.. as there is no need of it! They have not played outside the house or met friends or fought to go out.. it is me and husband who are trying to send them for a walk early morning (mine are early wakers) when no one is around.. they fear everyone now.. we have hardly met anyone since March end.. there have been days of intense melt down begging us ‘not to die and let them suffer alone’.. they take time to accept change..

Logic did not work.. Making them drink all traditional immunity boosters did not change mind-set.. agitation, crying for no reason and sad faces staring into oblivion became regular … Peace seemed totally lost..

Games and stories and art did some amount of magic.. I cooked up stories about imaginary characters who survived pandemics that affected the world in the past.. asked them to do the same.. we tried making funny endings..

Like the old partially blind lady who made some magic concoction accidentally and became rich as it treated the illness and so on..

Then we often draw and paint the changes we see and expect to see in the world as the effect of pandemic.. my older one calls himself a solo wanderer and he painted himself reading a book under tree in solitude happily.. younger one has been drawing green parks and happy roads..

Necessity is the mother of all.. more so for a mother..

Part 3- Big B -the very reason to start the blog

#life #gifted #lifewithgifted #multitasking #genius #innovator #creator #pain #lifelessons #understanding #emotions

Learnings from his life..

When the child has high intelligence and capacity the child’s interests and attention is focused on the subject that they love.. everything else is trivial to the child.. if we can’t understand the intensity of the passion towards learning more we should atleast not give a negative energy..

1.be extremely forgiving as they need that trusted shoulder when they are up against a world that considers them a misfit..

2.be a guide and show them more outlets for the simmering emotions ..

3.throw several ropes from various areas of interests and they will catch hold of what they need and climb up by themselves..

4. Lower down your expectations

5. Developing a spiritual and friendly relationship with God is good for overall mental health.

6. Our education system doesn’t have enough variety to Carter to the variety of students.. the system and teachers need updation .. teachers have to know more about psychology of children and have to handle their needs appropriately

Part 2- Big B -the very reason to start the blog

(photos and artwork on my blog are my own)

#life #gifted #lifewithgifted #multitasking #genius #innovator #creator #pain #lifelessons #understanding #emotions

A post by him on social media years back just popped up on my page.. drew me into good and bad memories..

Big B was the big brother from another womb.. my neighbour in childhood.. he always amazed me with his abilities.. I would see him jaw dropped through the day.. he could fix phones to cars even as a kid in 1990s when computers were just making an entry into India.. he built an audio editing system from scratch at home as a teenager.. but his teachers did not find him interesting.. he was called a looser, mad kid and treated badly by teachers at school.. he had let all the emotions simmer inside without telling his parents’ too.. he was kicked out of a prestigious school and it impacted his mental health.. the pressure was building without anyone’s knowledge..he was home schooled but he was still a difficult kid to handle for many.. I never understood why but now I know why.. with many struggles and limited friends he completed his 12 the grade.. but he was already an inventor by then.. he was an extremely caring neighbour and brother to me and my brother who were mostly alone when my parents went out to work.. he introduced me to books.. he would help me with my projects that involved computers.. he would always keep a watch on us.. he was leading the graphics team of a famous media company and did graphics for TV and films.. his abilities were recognised and he went on to study in the USA.. great names came calling but his health had taken a beating.. He came back home when he knew that he was suffering from an auto immunity disorder with no cure and had just 5 more years to live though he was just in his 20s.. even with health issues he went on to innovate with his trade mark smile and wit.. he bet his odds both mentally and physically to live for 7 more years.. I was not aware of the magnitude of his illness and we were continuing our friendship on social media.. when I had my second child he wanted to meet me.. but good things come to an end and his life ended prematurely.. I feel guilty to this day for not meeting him before he died..

His life had a lesson for everyone involved in it.. the world understands those with average and below average IQ better than those with high IQs.. do we give the intellectually superior the needed understanding? How many times we have branded them as egoistic and proud? Are we as a society accomodating them ? Or are we expecting them to accomodate themselves to us from the beginning? Are we understanding them emotionally?

I think I can pay back to him only if I bring up my kids, understanding the critical aspects than the popular aspects.. whenever my older one shows me little inventions of his, I am reminded of only one face.. when ever I see him struggle emotionally because the society doesn’t understand I get the very same memories.. I will share the lessons from his life with everyone.. because people like these can make the world a better place if only we accept and understand them..

Journey to failure to understand getting up matters..

giftedkids #gifted #life #lifewithgifted #highIQ

One day I got a call from his school teacher just after the school time.. anxiously I picked up the call.. the teacher told me to ask him what happened at school today after he comes home..

I asked him after he refreshed about day at school and he was not comfortable.. after a hug he told me, “amma today in language test I went blank and did not know what to write for a question.. I told the teacher that I will refer to the book just to remember the key word and she said no.. ” I asked him if what he did was right and it’s ok to write an answer wrong or not write an answer but he told me, “how can I ? I know that I know the answer.. I can’t fail.. it will be humiliating to fail.. but the teacher told me to write the test another day with today’s absentees” I told him to prepare well this time and thank the teacher for giving another chance..

As I thought through the happenings I realised he had hardly faced failure even in little things in life.. he just had to try once sometimes with help and sometimes without help to do anything.. he could get most things 75% well without effort.. while most children had to practice to get that.. those kids did face failure at least little by little and learnt to try more.. he never had to try more.. a little effort and his learning was done.. then it struck me that kids learn by watching adults.. did he see us fail? NO! Here I was wearing the super mom tag trying to show how brilliantly I handle so many things.. I never showcased my failure.. It did not help anyone.. my frustrations were also pilling up.. I decided to shed that image.. I started showing him how plan A, B,C.. never worked .. it was plan N or sometimes plan Z that worked and I had to adapt to it.. sometimes none worked.. it helped me to responsibly channelize my frustrations and learnings as I know he is watching and learning.. I let him see that I fall many times but I get up and get going.. I can see the difference.. he tries after initial frustrations now.. and the teacher had been understanding that though he knew , the thought of doing something wrong disturbed him.. he needed that understanding..

For many Gifted I learnt frustration is the major issue.. trying again and again becomes difficult.. because they don’t know what failure is in childhood..

Let me know your thoughts..